Biker Dude

A few weeks ago Nana bought Samuel his first
bike helmet.
He wanted to wear it non-stop.
We had to run an errand and he would not
take it off...

... and this is what I found when I went to get him
out of the car seat.
He is a biker dude through and through!

Farmers at Heart

Katrina and Samuel love playing farm.
Today they brought up several farm stuffed animals
and the makings for fences and made their own farm.
Samuel went down and brought up hats for both of them!

Katrina worked on labels for all of the animals
just like at her favorite farm:
Camp Forest Springs mini-farm.
She has been doing a great job
sounding-out words.
She gets the beginning and ending sound
and sometimes even a middle sound.
We are so proud of her hard work!

An April Update

Last night I snapped a few pictures of Samuel and Katrina and thought,

"It would be a good idea to give an update about all of us." So, here

you have it...

Samuel has enjoyed the warmer weather so much. But, because it has not

been that warm here yet he asked that we bring his car into the house

from the garage. We obliged and he has spent more time doing laps

through the living room, hallway, kitchen and dining room. He is

talking more and more. Our favorite thing now at mealtime is to ask

him to pray. He partially closes his eyes, looks down and says,

"Jesus. Grandpa. Jesus. Nana. Jesus. Shawn." It is the cutest thing

and we are so thankful that he is learning little by little to be

thankful for and pray for his family.

Katrina has been busy learning a new game on the iPod. It is a hunting

game and she has really assumed the role of "hunter-extraordinare."

Last evening she was showing Papa how to play and then she

disappeared. She re-appeared wearing what she termed her "hunting

clothes." What is hilarious is that the pants are Samuel's (18-month)

and they fit her better than him in the waist! Of course the jacket

and t-shirt nicely accent the camoflauge pants. Leave it to the

fashionista to make camoflauge cute!

Pancho is loving his kids! He has begun a new routine of early rising

to leave for

work much earlier than he was used to so he can

come home much earlier and have some outside time with the kids.

They have enjoyed swinging, riding bikes and building snow forts in

the past few days.

He is a wonderful papa who spells love T-I-M-E right now.

Me and Blue-B. We are 20.5 weeks along, a tiny bit over half-way to the end

(since the C-section will be scheduled for 39 weeks).

I have begun to feel Blue-B kicking and squirming around a bit more.

The placenta is positioned anteriorally and therefore his kicks have been

well-cushioned and therefore more difficult to detect.

Many times during the middle of the night, when I get up to use the bathroom

I lay back down and as I am trying to get back to sleep

I feel him moving and spend that precious time praising our Lord for this

indescribable gift.

So, that is a good mini-summary

of our lives at this point.

There is no place like home

Friday night we helped host a going-away party for some DEAR, DEAR friends.

They are moving to Kansas and as I thought about a theme for the party,

once I thought of the Wizard of Oz there was no going back.

Here are some of our decorations and treats.

Yellow Brick Road Rice Krispie Treats

Lollipop Guild Lollipops

Emerald City Jell-o Jigglers

Glinda the Good Witch Wands

Here is the decoration and treat that made the party.

(BIG thank you to Jenny Deane, cake baker and decorator extraordinare!)

We all tried to dress the part.

These two girls took the cake when it came to most authentic and cute!

Here are some faces and families represented at the party.

Brian, Christina, Taylor, Trevor and Joey,

We love you and we will miss you.

You have been such dear friends and we are so thankful for the timing

the Lord had in bringing you into our lives.

Although we don't totally understand His timing for your departure,

we trust that it is just as perfect as when you arrived in Wausau.

One huge consolation that we have is "There is no place like home."

It is consolation because Pancho and I know for certain

that our home is in heaven and we know that is your real home as well.

We will continue to pray for all of our children that it is

their real home and then we can truly say,

"We will see you again, at home."

Blueberries or Strawberries

Yesterday was a big day for the Duran family.
We went from being a family of 2 boys and 2 girls to ...

I had heard several ideas about "gender reveal parties."
I was intrigued and wanted to do one.
I was nervous about the planning and did not plan
it until we had our 16-week appointment and heard the
heartbeat one more time.
Once I had that assurance, I began to finalize our plans.

I had seen an idea that I tweaked and here is how our
"gender reveal" went...

At the ultrasound Katrina gave the doctor a picture of a
blueberry and one of a strawberry.
She asked him to please give her the picture according to what
gender the baby is:
Blueberry = boy
Strawberry = girl

Then, after the ultrasound we had invited family
and friends to join us in the big reveal.
Each person in attendance built a sundae based
on their guess about the gender of the baby.

Here are some of the guests guesses.
Leave it to Pancho to make a spreadsheet with all of the guesses!

Pancho Sr. -- boy
Emelys -- girl
Francys -- boy
Fanny -- boy
Veronica -- boy
Ron -- boy
Dorothy -- girl
Shawn -- girl
Leanne -- boy
Nick -- girl
Amber -- boy
Stuart -- boy
Dawn -- boy
Joe -- boy
Rachel -- boy
Suzanne -- boy
Dan -- girl*
Kristy -- girl
Abby -- boy
Brian -- girl
Christina -- girl
Taylor -- girl
Bethanie -- girl
* Dan guessed girl but built a blueberry sundae because he wanted blueberries and not strawberries

Once everyone built their sundae we called Katrina down
from her room (she had been sequestered up there!)
with the bowl...

And the baby is a BOY!!!

Lord Jesus,
We praise You for the revelation of another boy
for our family.
We praise You for the 147 beats a minute of his little heart.
We praise You for where You have brought us
in our walk with You.
You have used this pregnancy and this
boy in such a tremendous way to teach us about
You and Your gracious hand upon our lives.
Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.
We commit him to You now.
Help us to remember that You love him
more than we do.
Help us to remember that You have a plan
for His life and help us to work in
accordance with that plan and to trust
that it is Your PERFECT plan.

Para los abuelos

Today around noon Samuel
laid down on the living room floor and
within minutes this was his condition.
He had a rough night last night, falling
out of his bed two times.
I think that coupled with how much time he has
spent outside while we have had
nicer weather has finally
caught up with him.

Abuelo and Abuela have been asking for
pictures of Samuel so when he was sleeping
on the floor I figured it was a great time
to snap a few!

Trust and Obey

Today as we left the library and walked to the car

the Lord touched my heart with another great word picture.

Samuel has been bent on walking (versus being carried)

so I have been working diligently to instill in him the understanding

that he must hold my hand while crossing the street.

He would rather be independent, free to walk on his own

and yet that is not a choice for him at the young age of 2.

Katrina, on the other hand, has proven that she

is capable of crossing the street with us without

holding my hand and she knows that she

must walk with us, at our same pace, etc.

Today, Samuel was fighting me as we began to cross the

street and Katrina was right behind me.

Samuel and I were already half-way across the street when

out of the corner of my eye I knew that Katrina was no

longer right behind me.

I stopped, looked back and called her name.

She said, "Mama, I am looking both ways."

"I know you are looking both ways, Katrina,

but I already looked both ways for all of us

and you need to walk with us like you are expected to."

There were no cars in view so it seemed harmless to her.

She quickly ran to catch up and as we

finished crossing the street and walked to the van.

I was struck with the idea of how often I do the

exact same thing.

God has checked to see if there are any cars coming.

He is there, guiding me across the street

and I am still at the curb, looking both ways

making sure He is right.

Making sure I can trust Him to cross where He

has already given me the go-ahead.

Lord, please forgive my lack of trust.

When I do not obey, I am not trusting.

It is that simple.

I am not trusting that You have given me the go-ahead.

I am not trusting that You have it all worked out.

I am not trusting that You have a perfect plan.

When I do not obey I am not being protective of myself.

I am thinking that I know more than You.

Plain and simple.

Just as Katrina stood at the curb, checking for herself,

so do I stand, checking for myself,

when it has already been checked for me.

Thank You for yet another word picture.

You are so gracious to give them to me

just when I need them.

This Cake Took The Cake

Not long ago I was reading a blog of a blog-friend and she made

this cake for her daughter's birthday.

As soon as I saw it, I wanted the recipe because I knew it

was the perfect cake for Katrina's 5th birthday.

I have seen rainbow cakes before, but they

all involved many, many cakes which would end up

being WAY too much cake for one family of 4

plus a friend to enjoy for a birthday party.

So, Friday morning I set out to make this cake.

The recipe calls for gel food coloring and I could not find any

so I had to make my own gel food coloring in order

for the colors to be so vibrant.

Set-back #1.

Making gel food coloring is not hard, but it is a process

that involves time, bowls, toothpicks and unless I wanted

WAY more gel food coloring than I needed, mathematics.

I got the gel food coloring made and proceeded with the cake.

This was a super easy step as I went with a recipe that

calls for soda and a Betty Crocker mix.

Next I needed to mix the batter with the gel food coloring.

As I completed this step I was nervous.

Set-back #2.

Would the colors be vibrant enough?

Should I risk adding drops of liquid food coloring

and end up making the batter too runny?

I did and the batter seemed fine.

After mixing the batter with the colors, it was time to layer

the colors in the baking pans.

The greased baking pans.

I generously greased the baking pans

(or so I thought)

and popped them into the oven.

Set-back #3 occurred.

I had filled one baking pan too full and the batter was spilling

out onto the oven floor as it baked.

I quickly remedied that issue by placing a cookie

sheet on the lower rack of our oven to catch any

further spills.

BEEP.

The cakes were done.

I took them out and allowed them to cool.

After plenty of cooling time I attempted to remove the

cakes from the pans.

Set-back #4.

I must not have greased the pans generously enough.

Aghh!

Some of the cake stuck to the bottom of the pan.

I stayed calm, however, and did my best

to piece the cake together.

Then I needed to stack the cakes.

I was so thankful I had only made 2!

Once they were stacked and stable, I

proceeded to frost them.

The frosting step went quite well and as I was frosting

I noticed that all of the set-backs that had

occurred and could have made the cake ugly

were being completely covered by the frosting.

And the thicker I spread on the frosting, the more

the Lord spoke to me about my own life and how

I like to frost.

I have been living for 11 weeks with a deep-seated fear

that very few people are aware of.

I have frosted over that fear with a smile and a sweet laugh.

Instead of allowing people to see me in a

very vulnerable position right now, 15 weeks pregnant,

I have chosen to use frosting to cover up my vulnerability.

There are many reasons for why I have done this,

and I will not go into them, but as I sorted through the

reasons in my mind, I realized each of them was a sin.

As I frosted that beautiful birthday cake I was

convicted of my lack of trust in Jesus and His perfect plan for our lives,

for one, and second for my masquerading around like

everything is great.

Now, fast forward to when I made the first slice into the cake.

I cut into that cake and took out the first piece.

The girls and Pancho were oohing and ahhing.

Samuel was just drooling!

I took a look at the inside and it was gorgeous.

It looked even better than the frosting.

And the Lord impressed upon my heart,

"What I see is beautiful. Vulnerability is where I work.

When you cover that up, to yourself and others, you have not

covered it up to Me. I know that you are scared. I know that

you are hurting. Come to Me. Bring Me your fear.

Bring Me your hurt. I will carry it for you. It would be My

pleasure."

I cannot tell you what those words mean to me. They are like a healing balm to my very soul. I have resolved, with the Lord's help, to begin living without all the frosting.

Look Who's 5 Already!

Happy birthday to our dear daughter, Katrina!

Friday evening we went to pick up Katrina's closest friend, Taylor.

Upon arrival at the hotel, Katrina's choice for her 5th birthday celebration,

the girls realized the room had been decorated for the party.

"This is where the party is!" they both exclaimed.

After a quick dinner of Wendy's kids' meals we hit the pool.

Katrina, Taylor and Samuel had a blast splashing and playing

on Friday evening and Saturday morning.

We went back to the room, got changed into our pajamas

and sang "Happy Birthday" to Katrina

and dug into the birthday cake.

Samuel enjoyed the cake the most!

After cake the kids snuggled into one of the beds in our suite

and watched "UP."

We were all tired and ready for some rest by the time it was over.

Saturday morning we enjoyed a delicious continental breakfast

and then headed back to the pool for a few more splashes.

We went back to the room and while Pancho and I cleaned

up and got everything packed up, the kids played Polly Pockets.

Overall it was a very memorable 5th birthday.

More birthday celebrations came Saturday evening

with Grandpa and Nana and then Sunday evening

with our dear friends, the Drexlers.

Katrina, you so enjoy hearing the story of your arrival into our family.

And we so enjoy telling you!

It was definitely the highlight of our lives until that point.

We had prayed so hard for a baby and God was faithful to bless

us with you in His perfect time and in His perfect way.

The 5 years since your arrival have been the most joyful years.

We have watched you grow and mature into a very young

lady who loves Jesus and your family very much.

And like we pray for you each night and then tell you just as we turn

out the light in your bedroom,

May the Lord bless you and keep you.

May His favor rest on you.

And may you know His peace all your days (and nights!).

Tu papa y yo te amamos mas que nunca, Trini-do.

So different

One year ago yesterday, Wednesday,
Pancho was having an ultrasound, followed by a CT scan.
Later that afternoon he was admitted to the
hospital and so began our blastomycosis journey.

Yesterday, Wednesday,
I was having an ultrasound.
Later that afternoon we were basking in the
blessing of another child.
Do you want to see him/her?

One might say it is a coincidence that the ultrasounds
were exactly one year apart.
But I don't believe in coincidence.
I believe in God.
I believe in His sovereign hand upon our lives.

Those days of blastomycosis were scary.
Pancho was admitted to St. Clare's Hospital in Weston on Wednesday and
was taken by ambulance to St. Joseph's Hospital in Marshfield the
following Tuesday because he was not responding
to the strong medication.
They decided in the critical care unit in Marshfield to start him on the
very strong medication.
Praise the Lord it began to take effect.
He was discharged from St. Joseph's on Friday and
then went to St. Clare's daily for 10 days of out-patient
amphotericin treatments.
He was on oxygen at home.
His parents came to help us care for him and the kids.
In November he finished his final dose of oral drugs.
Yes, 8 months after it all began he was finishing the final dose.
It was a scary time.

Yet through it all, the Lord was faithful.
And now we are on another journey.
I will tell you that this is a scary journey too.
We did not enter into this pregnancy lightly.
It was (and still is in many ways for me) entered into
with much fear and trepidation.
And, you know what?
God has been faithful and will continue to be.

Seeing that baby kick and roll around
on the screen yesterday was absolutely miraculous.
This is the third time we have seen a 12-week gestational baby
move like that and it felt like the first time.
Even the nurse doing the ultrasound giggled with excitement
as the baby reached for its face various times.
I wonder how many ultrasounds she has performed.
Yet, it never gets old.
Miracles are miracles.
Period.

We continue to wait on the Lord and trust His
perfect plan for our lives.
Should He see fit to bring this baby to term and
bless our lives with it outside of the womb,
praise be to our God.
Should He see fit to take this baby to be with Him
before we experience life with it out here,
praise be to our God.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away,
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Job 1:21
Please rejoice with us in His giving!