Happy 1st Birthday

Dear Samuel,

I have written this letter three times and blogspot has not been working, so hopefully this time it will take!

Where do I begin? We just celebrated your 1st birthday and it was such an emotional time. I spent a good part of the day remembering how the day of your birth unfolded.

I had been a nervous wreck basically the entire pregnancy since we had lost three babies before you and we were classified "high risk" and were doing some pretty intense medical treatments with you throughout the pregnancy. As the delivery date neared I was more and more nervous that things were going to go wrong. We had learned that God always does as He sees fit and we had come to understand (as best we could) that He saw fit to take the other babies without us being able to meet them. I just wondered if I could bear that same ending again.

So, I woke up the morning of January 19th with simple contractions. I was excited because I had not really experienced contractions with Katrina. I waited a while and then woke up Papa to have him help me time them out. They were 5 minutes apart and consistent but not very strong. It was a bit disconcerting because I was getting a blood-thinner injection every morning and evening and I had been told that if I took the blood-thinner too close to the time of delivery (I was going to have a C-section no matter what) that I would have to be put under for your birth because of possible complications. I really didn't want to be sleeping for your arrival, so as soon as I felt like the contractions were steady and this was probably it, I called the on-call ob line. No one called me back and as I waited for the call, the contractions began to become less and less consistent and even less strong. I was bummed, but called the doctor's office and explained the situation. The nurse told me that because the contractions basically tapered off that I should take the injection and see how the rest of the day panned out.

So, Papa gave me the blood-thinner injection in my thigh and we went on about our day, wondering in the back of our minds what was going on. I had an appointment for a non-stress test (NST), which they were doing once a week, in the afternoon. Uncle Shawn and Aunt Leanne offered to watch Katrina during the appointment so I left her with them and headed to the clinic. I had been experiencing some contractions throughout the day, but nothing consistent.

At the clinic I explained what happened much earlier that day and my ob was on-call that day and was in the office for a minute. The nurse thought he should come in and check me, so he did. He checked and said that I was not dilated at all and that I was most likely experiencing false labor that morning. I agreed with him and told him I would see him in one week for the scheduled C-section.

I drove back to Shawn and Leanne's house to get Katrina and while I was there I had quite a few really strong contractions. That was really confusing to me since I had just been told I was not dilated at all. I put Katrina in the car and began to drive home. I was having contractions quite consistently and they began to take my breath away. I called Nana and asked her to please pray that my water would just break so that we would know for sure if it was real labor or not. I did not want to run up to the hospital and have them say, "False labor, ma'am." I didn't want to do that to Katrina or myself. Nana played on the phone with me and we hung up.

At home I asked Katrina what she wanted for dinner. Papa was still working and she was hungry. She asked for pancakes. I took out the Bisquick and was going to get a bowl when I had a really strong contraction and bloop my water broke. Literally about 20 minutes after Nana had prayed that it would be completely clear if you were coming or not.

Needless to say I was thrilled. I called Papa immediately and told him he better come home that my water had just broke. I called Nana and told her and she was so excited that she hung up the phone and was on her way before I even realized she wasn't there anymore!

I got the bag of my stuff (totally forgetting to grab the bag of your stuff) and waited for Papa and Nana to come. Papa arrived and got the car seat into the car and a towel on the front seat. Nana came and took Katrina to her house for dinner. We drove to the hospital and made some phone calls on the way.

When we got to the hospital they had our room ready and the doctor came to see me while the nurses got me all ready for surgery. It was important to take my blood to check the thinness before it was determined whether or not I could be awake or not. The contractions were really hard and painful and the doctor told me they were working as fast as possible with the blood, etc.

They eventually took me to the delivery room to get the spinal block ready. I was in a lot of pain and Papa had to stay out. I started to cry because I was getting really scared. The nurses said that Papa could come in and wait with me until they got the call from the lab about my blood. Just then the phone rang in the OR and it was the lab. My blood thickness was fine. They administered the spinal block, got Papa and got to work.

When Papa came in I was a wreck. The moment we had been waiting for for SO SO long was finally here and it was like all the emotions of those years of waiting came spilling out. I was sobbing and sobbing. Papa was asking me why I was crying. I told him and he said, "God is good all the time and He will do as He sees fit, just like He has in the past. It will be for our good and for His glory and we can trust Him." Shortly after that you were out! You were crying and crying and you were absolutely beautiful. You were much more white than we anticipated (Katrina was really red when she was born).

Papa went with you to the nursery while they washed you and got you all ready to see me. As they fixed me up I just laid there basking in the blessing of the Lord. You were here and you were healthy and we were so grateful to God, even more grateful after all He had brought us through to get you.

I went back to the room and Papa came to tell me you would be coming soon. We called Katrina and Nana and Grandpa to tell them to come on up to meet you. We called some other people too!

You came to the room and I held you for the first time. It was the greatest feeling, holding my son in my arms for the first time. Katrina and Nana and Grandpa came and saw you and thought you were the best little baby ever.

And now, you are one year old and this has been a year of incredible blessings in our family. For the first time in a long time we have not experienced any tragedies for a whole year. It has been so good to realize that we can be close to the Lord in the good times as well as the hard times. We can and do praise the Lord for the good times He has given to us this year. It is refreshing to know that we will and do cling to Him in the midst of all circumstances.

So, happy birthday, Samuel. We love you mas que nunca and cannot wait to see what God has in store for you and for us as we grow together.